That's me. I fell asleep in the middle of laundry folding last night. Right on the basket of laundry. Slept that way for hours. I laughed forever when the hubby shared this picture with me. You see, I'm not one to fall asleep in random places. In fact, I have a difficult time falling asleep in my own bed. I'm also not one to fall asleep when I have a long to-do list or a messy house. I usually stay up as late as it takes to get it all done. But I was exhausted. It was a busy weekend and I was drained physically and emotionally by 7:00 last night, when I threw my arms up in frustration and told Tim, through tears, that we were hiring a maid.
I used to think it was ridiculous that a SAHM would ever need the services of a housekeeper. In fact, I used to be pretty judgmental about it. That was before the days of having kids or staying home. But God taught me a lesson in judgments and it really hit me over the weekend.
I'm kind of OCD. Not in the true sense of the clinical definition, but I get extremely anxious and panicky if there is clutter in my house. Having kids has been tough, because as any mom will tell you, clutter is 100% unavoidable when you have children. Toys are inevitably strewn about the house, random sippy cups adorn bookshelves and pacifiers and burp rags line counters and furniture.
This weekend, I didn't have much time for cleaning or dishes or laundry. I attempted to refinish a few dressers, spend a little time with my kids and hang out with a few friends while also volunteering at the church and helping out with a make-up launch party for a friend. This was all TONS of fun and very rewarding, but it meant that at 5:00 last night, we had dishes in the sink, piles and piles of dirty laundry, no food in the fridge and a hot mess of a house, all while I was beyond exhausted.
If I want to have a social life, I can't keep a clean house every minute of every day. If I want to spend time with my children, I can't keep a clean house every minute of every day. If I want to help out where I'm needed, I can't keep a clean house every minute of every day. If I want to enjoy life at all, I can't keep a clean house every minute of every day. I need a social life, my children need me and I need to find enjoyment in things other than sparkling floors, clean toilets and a clutter-free, perfectly organized home.
I need to get over my idea that in order to be a "good wife," the house must be clean, dinner must be made and clean clothes must be available. My husband doesn't care, so why do I?
Sometimes I'm going to fall asleep on the laundry basket and wake up on a Monday morning with a disaster of a house. And you know what? That's okay. Some day I may decide (if I can ever fit it into our budget) that a housekeeper is necessary so that my children get the best of me. And that's okay. Someone looking in on my life may judge me for having a messy house or a maid, but that's also okay. Because they won't know that I'm enjoying my life, enjoying my kids and helping others.
Girl, I had a HUGE awakening in this same area over the past several months. I had it all together for the most part until a newborn entered our world 3 months ago and it hit me like a ton of bricks that a clean house, an empty e-mail inbox, 5 star meals, etc. could never replace spending time with my family. My house now reflects this. Would I be slightly embarrassed if someone were to walk through my front door right now? To be honest - yes. BUT, this is my home. We live here, love here, laugh here and THAT is what matters.
ReplyDeleteI am also a SAHM and we have a housekeeper! We purchased a new SUV this weekend and my husband mentioned that *maybe* we could get rid of the housekeeper. My immediate response...NO!!! While I keep a clean house things like mopping(our whole house is tiled aside from the bedrooms) and cleaning bathrooms is not what I want to do. Having someone come in once a week to do the deeper cleaning is a HUGE help. I do ALL the laundry, wipe countertops 40 times a day, declutter all day long, make dinner and lunches for my husband and son, etc but having that extra help is SO worth it! I say GO GIRL!!!
ReplyDeleteExcellent, Chelsea! I'll be praying that this soaks down deep into your heart. =)
ReplyDeleteWhen I presented the idea to my husband of getting someone in to help me with the housework this is what I heard "ummmm, if we get a housekeeper, then what will you do??" I of course am busy with the girls, volunteering, exercising, running to preschool and helping friends. But my biggest problem is the internet! It sucks my time and life away from me! I was a total OCD housekeeper before I had DD1 (I was even OCD with DS1) and then poof - I quit caring 24/7! My standard is sanitary in the right places and the rest will get done! The other week for the very first time in 8 years - my sweet husband did not have a clean t-shirt to wear with his uniform! Ugh - the internet sometimes gets the best of me....
ReplyDeleteWe just cancelled our maids, and I admit that I am a little nervous about what's going to happen to our house. It's hard to overcome the image of what you think the perfect wife should be able to do. I struggle with this so much, especially balancing work/home/everything else. The guilt and the judgment are crushing, but when I realize that I am the one doing the shaming and judging, it eases a little. Good luck, Chelsea!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Obviously I'm not a SAHM, but I also want to get a housekeeping service. Basically, like you, I'm too tired in the evening to be bothered to clean. My few hours of down time, I want to be for relaxation. And you're right...when you're stretched so thin, something's gotta give, and it shouldn't be your relationships with your family, friends or yourself. The dishes do not care who washes them. :)
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