Using your voice.

Do I feel its my duty to patrol the interwebs and make sure no one ever says a bad word about anyone else?  

Nope.

So why do I get involved?  

I had to ask myself that this morning, after I opened my mouth on the STFU, Parents fb page post I referred to yesterday.  I had a nice little talk with my hubby about it this morning.  

Appalled at what I read yesterday, I decided to add my opinion in a sea of other opinions.  I tried to be as graceful as I was able to be.  I certainly didn't want to start a fight, but I was obviously prepared to have some hate directed my way.  I mean, some of these people were wishing for Michelle's death.  Of course they would attack anyone who shared a different opinion.  

I felt the need to say something because, like I said yesterday, when did we become so complacent and desensitized that we could read things like what I posted yesterday and not say a word?  To not say a word, to not try to make just one person stop and think and reconsider their position made me feel like part of the problem.  If I watched it all unfold on a page I was a fan of and I didn't try to respectfully share my opinion, I was just another reason that people feel they can get away with such hateful bashing online, behind the safety of a screen name.  

So I said this:

And I stand behind it and I'd say it again because it's what I believe.  NO ONE deserves that sort of hate.  Whether or not the Duggars expect it and are prepared for it and have thick skin doesn't matter or make them less worthy of defense.  The point is, we've now become so desensitized to this sort of hate online that most people don't say a word.  Because I guess we feel we can't have an impact as "just one person."  I understand that mentality because I share it.  I constantly second-guess speaking up because, well, what's the point?  Whose mind am I going to change and in the end, I'm just going to have my feelings hurt.  

Now I think there's a difference between tactfully standing up for a belief and just being nasty or judgmental in return.  The latter doesn't solve a thing, and I've been guilty of it so many times that it's shameful.  I've learned a lot over the years.  I used to be incredibly judgmental, and it took a few comments from others to convince me of how mean I was being, how hurtful my words were.  So I guess, deep inside, I feel that if I have an opportunity to share my opinions with others and the potential to change only one mind, that's totally worth it.  

It was really sad to read what most people had to say in response to my comment because it's just indicative of our current state of morals and human decency.  Someone even stalked my facebook page to find my blog and comment here.  Interestingly, and ironically I guess, that was the person calling me a troll repeatedly.   

I'm not saying it's everyone's duty to speak up when they see something evil happening, but I think we're too complacent.  I think we see something going down and we say, why get involved?  What's the point?  I won't change anyone's mind.  

But I think you definitely can.  It's all in the way you deliver your message.  Answering hate with hate won't solve a thing and won't help your cause.  

If I saw someone being bullied on a playground or in a park, I would do my part to help.  If I see someone being bullied online, I try to do my part to help, too, even if it means most people think I'm crazy or spew hate in my direction.  Internet bullying is becoming a very real problem.  I think most people would try to come to the defense of someone being bullied (or perhaps I'm being naive), but for some reason coming to the defense of someone being bullied online seems so much more taboo.  

I don't seek out things to argue about or people whose minds I could potentially change, but if I see something going down like that, on a very public page with 17,000 readers, I'd speak up again.

Finally, this whole issue taught me a really valuable lesson.  I've grown in my faith tremendously over the past two years, and I've changed for the better in so many ways thanks all to God and his grace, but I still find myself faltering all the time.  I deemed the Duggars worthy of defending but laughed right along with the late night shows picking on Charlie Sheen.  I've read tabloid articles about movie stars I don't like and I've been to TMZ to get my latest dose of gossip more times than I'd like to admit.  That makes me pretty lame and hypocritical.  I know God was using this experience to teach me that no one person is less worthy of hate than another.